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| vcky hi everyone. i have.. *frantic pause* issues, on the bus. i know im skinny. i know when i sit down on a bus seat, i only take up half of it. if i cross my legs, i only end up taking one third of the seat. BUT IT IS STILL MYY SEAT!!!! just because i take up only a sliver of mine, doesn't mean all the extra space is there for your elbow and your wide-open legs. and can you not touch me on the bus?! can you not sQUISH ME?! can you not PUT YOUR BAG on the rest of my seat??? are you so corpulent your excess skin nEEDS to flab over to my side?!!? is your bag SO designer that it cant sit on the floor?! are you suCH a princess your bag cant sit on your thIGH?! do you LIKE me so much your arm HAS to rest OVER my arm?! are your balls SO big you cant sit with ur legs at LESS than a ninety degree opening?! what is this?!
general public i dunno
vcky k cool.
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| i am such a wuss. i didn't used to be (or maybe i avoided them very nicely), but now im a full fledged full throttle unstoppable and ill-managed Wuss Case.
im scared of BUGS. i saw a spider in the washroom this morning and i screeched and hurt my back trying to twist out of it's way. it was not moving. and then i looked closer and it was a ball of thread. but i couldnt pick it up cus it looked like a spider. i went to wash my cup this morning and i saw this cup in the sink and it had a whole bunch of floating ants in it so i balked and ran away. after calming myself down i ran back and it was tea leaves. my mom and dad used to keep silkworms as pets, and they made me watch this documentary about silkworms cus it was facinating. i cried.
i had never been scared of heights. i was one of those super shit kids on the capilano suspension bridge that jumped up and down and ran, to the chagrin of my mother.
i stood on my chair to stick up posters in my room a few days ago, i looked down and i went all dizzy and had to stop. and last time i went on the hellavator i was so glad i peed just before the ride. it was okay when they shot me up fast and let me fall, but NOT okay when the damn ride stayed up at the peak to let me relish my own fear and a single tear slid out of my left eye while the 10 year old kid next to be flailed his arms and legs "WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE". fuckr.
before scare myself before i sleep. i like to go to crimelibrary and read about real-life serial killers or deranged psychosis, and i like to read scarymovie spoilers and play the horror film out in my head. then i imagine there's ghouls hiding outside my windows and in my closet. i squint my eyes so that my kurt cobain poster ends up looking like the 'ring' girl. i get so petrified in my bed that i have those halfawake sleeping dreams where my imagination comes to life and monsters eat my bones and maliciously mess up my underwear drawer.
ldsakgjlksdjhl;akdshl;aksdjg;lasdkjg omg im so scared now.
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| if she says 'basically' one more time im going to smoke myself.
i lost my xanga premium. now i have to look at this ad all the time and pretend like i dont care for what it says about my xanga status.
im in class i just have a little juncture to talk about- rational choice.
theory says, that us humans do what makes sense to us, that we are all rational people, that we do what makes sense to us and to everyone. but i was late to all three of my classes this morning, because i refused to walk faster than the beat on my ipod. toni braxton's 'unbreak my heart' made me devastatingly late for class.
"un... break myyy heart.............. sayyyy youu loove mee agaaaaiinnnn............" slowly but surely my slow tempo beat brought me ever closer to my classroom. when i got there late with no seats left i was like wtf. WTF man. i now have to have this shit seat on the floor by the wall simply because i refused to walk faster than toni let me. fucking toni. rational choice my ass, if i culd understand what's going on in my head i'd be, in a great giant leap of insanity, 98% closer to human perfection. but alas i am far away and quite frankly, a big loser.
im graduating in a few months time. there are people four years younger than me who'r saving and investing and planning their life route. i decide i dont want to plan shit, im just going to stay here and save up enough money to buy me some boobs, some blond hair dye, and hang outside hugh hefner's front door. but i try not to tell people that. i think it makes me rather unnattractive.
i spose i shuldnt tell people why im late to class too. "vcky whyr u late all the time?" "toni braxton.........."
"what do u wanna do when u 'grow up'?" "hugh hefner..........."
if she says 'basically' again im going to smoke myself.
i also cant stand "to tell u the truth". especially if it comes afTER the statement.
"well basically i really cant stand pickles, to tell u the truth." WHY????? WHY WASTE YOUR BREATH!? IF U TAKE THOSE OUT I GET WHAT U MEAN! YOU CANT STAND PICKLES! BASICALLY!! I KNOW UR TELLING ME THE TRUTH AND EVEN IF U WERENT I CULD CARE LESS IF YOU REALLY LIKE PICKLES!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK i do not update my xanga enough and when i finally do i unleash verbose typological powers of rantable redundancy.
so basically im going to update oftener, to tell u the truth.
ima go smoke myself now.
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| i was in class today and i had this fantastic flight of fancy.
i pretended i was rogue and i absorbed all of emma frost's powers and all of her boobs.
then, for the good of mankind, i decide to relinquish all my powers,
but i keep my boobs and my super strength so that in times of need i
may salvage a collapsing building, and make extra money pole-dancing,
ahh, good the times.
so i was on the bus today and i was listening to that mandarin song that, roughly translated, goes JACKET TAKE OFF! TAKE OFF! SHIRT TAKE OFF, TAKE OFF! UNDERWEAR TAKE OFF! TAKE OFF! ALL ALL TAKE OFF!
so i imagined everyone on the bus taking off their clothes.
it ruined the ride.
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| i have half an hour left on my laptop batteries and i will thus give you this masterpiece of vcky's daily inconsequential thoughts, made all the more groundbreaking because she is in class.
cough.
remember Tuck Everlasting? yeah i know, here i go again.
BARE BONES OF TUCK EVERLASTING-
GIRL LIKES BOY. GIRL AND BOY START TALKING. GIRL SUDDENLY REALIZES BOY IS ACTUALLY A HUNDRED AND SEVENTY SOMETHING YEARS OLD, WHO LOOKS LIKE HE'S SEVENTEEN BECAUSE HE HAS BEEN DRINKING FROM AN ETERNAL SPRING OF AWESOMENESS WATER.
what if that was you? what if you are in class one day and you meet the guy/girl of your daydreams. hot, accomplished, wise beyond his years. and then he tells you he is actually a fucking old guy who just looks young. would you run away in horror because he's so aged and if the gossip papers were to hear wind of your relationship you'd forever be plastered in tabloid titles like DERANGED TWENTYONE YEAR OLD CAUGHT IN ILLICIT AFFAIR WITH A CENTENARIAN - WHAT WILL SHE THINK OF NEXT, NECROPHILIA??????????????????????????
does age really matter?
so anna nicole fell in love with an old guy, and the old guy fell in love with anna nicole.
montgomery burns is infatuated with a young woman, and the young woman starts calling him 'monty'.
does age really matter?
what do you fall in love with anyway? the brain? the personality? the looks? the attitude?
the money?
the person?
while you're thinking about that, let's explore this whole "falling in love with a person for the person" thing.
i would not readily go chase a 90 year old guy because i feel that under his brittle bones could be the beginnings of a wonderful understanding between our age'less souls. but if i knew him before i found out he was ninety and i was fully in love with what i knew - would i be repulsed?
AGE ASIDE........
if you started going out with someone. and you absolutely adore him. you love him as a person, but additional to that you love his money you love his chiseled cheekbones and defined beergut -
and then you find out that precisely nine years and four days ago, he had had a sex change.
your favourite boyfriend soontobehusband, used to be a woman.
would you be repulsed?
if we were really to begin liking people fOR PEOPLE - which will never happen because we have eyes and social norms - it would NOT be deviant to have a same sex relationship, and it would NOT be frowned upon to have an age-illicit affair.
i just like you for you.
CMON MICHAEL JACKSON, TAKE IT AWAY.
BUT IF YOU'RE THINKIN BOUT MY BABY IT WONT MATTER IF YOU'RE BLACK ORRR WHIIITE!!!
OR 179 YEARS OLD OR A WOMAN.
;)
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